Sorry we have been missing in action for several days, or so it seems to me. I ask Mark each morning, what day is it and what time is it at home. (My brain seems to have lost its charge for subtracting by 7 with any speed). I’m so happy that at least for several hours, Ukraine and home are participating in the same day. T.G. I.F.!!!!!
Our time in Kyiv was very nice and except for the fact that we are both missing our children at home so much, we are enjoying this time together. For the couples back home who never seem to find the time for a special date night........try International Adoption. You will have a care giver for your children who loves them as much as you do, and until your court date when you take custody of your additional child/ren, you will have many date nights to make up for all of those you did not get, included in the price! Just kidding!!!!! Really though, this is such an emotional experience that having your best friend spend it with you is the only way to go. I am so grateful for the gift of marriage and my wonderful husband. I pray that I never take either for granted.
We spent the day Tuesday with our new friends, Cindy and Michael Fischer, who are also adopting and have there appointment with the SDA on Wednesday as well. We walked at least 5 miles through the city and visited two Cathedrals, St. Volodymyr and Saint Sophia. Absolutely breath taking!! We stopped for some very yummy desserts and tea and the men had the Ukranian Beers they had both been "wanting to try". The waiter referred to the cheesecake I ordered as "American cheesecake". I can tell you we do not have this cheesecake in America in any restaurant I have been at. It was warm and smooth and ...........oh, I cannot do it justice with my efforts to describe how delicious it was.
Our time in Kyiv was very nice and except for the fact that we are both missing our children at home so much, we are enjoying this time together. For the couples back home who never seem to find the time for a special date night........try International Adoption. You will have a care giver for your children who loves them as much as you do, and until your court date when you take custody of your additional child/ren, you will have many date nights to make up for all of those you did not get, included in the price! Just kidding!!!!! Really though, this is such an emotional experience that having your best friend spend it with you is the only way to go. I am so grateful for the gift of marriage and my wonderful husband. I pray that I never take either for granted.
We spent the day Tuesday with our new friends, Cindy and Michael Fischer, who are also adopting and have there appointment with the SDA on Wednesday as well. We walked at least 5 miles through the city and visited two Cathedrals, St. Volodymyr and Saint Sophia. Absolutely breath taking!! We stopped for some very yummy desserts and tea and the men had the Ukranian Beers they had both been "wanting to try". The waiter referred to the cheesecake I ordered as "American cheesecake". I can tell you we do not have this cheesecake in America in any restaurant I have been at. It was warm and smooth and ...........oh, I cannot do it justice with my efforts to describe how delicious it was.
The delectable cheesecake was my reward for walking all of those miles on asphalt and cobblestone. I just had to wear my new boots, with the 2 ½ inch heels, not imagining that we were going to cover the distance we did. Bad decision! My ankles and toes are still aching. I am living in my flat tennis shoes, regardless if I look out of place! Thank God I threw my black flats in the suitcase at the last minute for court!,
We were able to talk to Charlie and Nick on Tuesday for the first time since we arrived. Trying to get a call home coordinated with the time difference was a bit of a challenge, but we finally succeeded. Mark was also able to get the Skype to work and talk to the boys a second time. We have to have High-Speed Internet in order for the voice over Skype to work, and we will not have this option in region tomorrow. We are not staying at the Donetsk Christian University as planned because the orphanages are in the opposite direction and would be very costly in transportation. Apparently, DCU has the best Internet connection. I never would have considered myself so dependent on technology , but not being able to make a connection with loved ones any time we wish has been a true reminder of how spoiled this generation of Americans really is. It is one thing to talk about our privileged society but to experience what the lack of these privileges is, even on a small scale, is humbling.
Today is Wednesday, October 24th the first of many big days. Our appointment with the SDA is at 2:00pm. Around 1:00, our coordinator dropped us off just a few blocks from the SDA while she made copies of documents. There were vendors on each side of the street selling souvenirs. Some of the most popular items were nesting dolls, traditional floral hair garlands (for little girls), Icons of Jesus, Mary and the saints of the Orthodox Church, such as Saint Nicholas, Saint Andrew, Saint Sophia, Soccer Jerseys and in the midst of rich Ukriane tradition, the still prevalent reminders of the Soviet Regime ..... T-shirts that sport phrases such as; McLenin’s (with the McDonald’s Arch and depiction of Lenin), "F***ing Revolution" with Lenin depiction, I love my AK-47, Stalin’s mug. Angelina commented that the young people that buy these items have no clue of what these dictators had done and just think these look "cool". If they only knew this is why the country is still in such oppression, would they be promoting them. Truth is, people are people, and no matter what country we live in there will be this kind of ignorance in motion.
The appointment with SDA took all of 10 minutes, if that. The "psychologist" confirmed that the children we wished to adopt were known and asked how we knew of them. Since Igor’s files were missing and this meant he was "unavailable" , we requested to meet another boy at Artyom’s orphanage that our coordinator spoke to us about earlier that morning. Now, we had to wait for the SDA to fax permissions to the governing authorities in each of the 2 towns we are going to. But our coordinator does not let any grass grow under her feet and does not want to lose a day. We wonder if she actually ever sleeps and we have yet to see her eat anything solid. We are grateful for her efficiency because that means she is working for us to be able to return home at the soonest possible date. This is not an easy task when you are dealing with a ton (and I mean, A TON) of bureaucracy!!
After our appointment, we were dropped off back at our hotel to wait for a few hours before taking the 11 hour train ride to Gorlovka. We walked to the mall on the next block and had another one of those yummy cheesecakes. I’m hooked for sure.
We are off to the train station for our 7pm ride on the rails. After we hustled through the station (keeping up with Angelina’s stealth stride is not easy) We boarded the train and packed our luggage into our sleeper. I assigned Mark to the top bunk. With two determined women in tow, he did not have a big choice. We sat up and talked about many topics from our children at home and extended family to history and yes, even religion and politics. We shared cookies, tea and coffee and enjoyed our time with Angelina, as we will not be spending much downtime with her once we step off this train. We understand that we are all on this mission together and Angelina is our General and in perpetual motion.
This train ride is again another first for me. I pray that I will not lose the courage to continue to experience new things in life. I actually slept off and on, although I remained aware of the tracks beneath that jostled us about in the night. Angelina told us that we are only allowed 2 minutes to get ourselves and luggage off the train so she arranged for her husband and driver with a big taxi van (rare in Ukraine) to be at the car and catch the baggage and wheelchair cocoon for Mark.
We are off to the train station for our 7pm ride on the rails. After we hustled through the station (keeping up with Angelina’s stealth stride is not easy) We boarded the train and packed our luggage into our sleeper. I assigned Mark to the top bunk. With two determined women in tow, he did not have a big choice. We sat up and talked about many topics from our children at home and extended family to history and yes, even religion and politics. We shared cookies, tea and coffee and enjoyed our time with Angelina, as we will not be spending much downtime with her once we step off this train. We understand that we are all on this mission together and Angelina is our General and in perpetual motion.
This train ride is again another first for me. I pray that I will not lose the courage to continue to experience new things in life. I actually slept off and on, although I remained aware of the tracks beneath that jostled us about in the night. Angelina told us that we are only allowed 2 minutes to get ourselves and luggage off the train so she arranged for her husband and driver with a big taxi van (rare in Ukraine) to be at the car and catch the baggage and wheelchair cocoon for Mark.
When we arrived at the station in Gorlovka and the wagon door was opened, there were the two men waiting with urgent anticipation. "See, they are afraid of me" our General said, in a kind voice, smiling warmly and adding a school girl giggle.
We were brought to our new temporary apartment home and greeted by the housekeeper, Anna. I think I’m going to really like this first! She showed us how to get hot water as the apartment has a tankless water heater. Shamefully, this city girl was totally clueless! Not any more! We are actually living in luxury in the apartment. Hot water is still very rare outside of Kyiv. Without hot water, I would immediately join the ranks of limited bathing. The cold water is painful!!
If you lost track, it is now Thursday. I am still not coherent with reference to day and time. First stop will be the Guardianship Council office in Torez. This is an authority similar to our Department of Children and Family Services. Here Angelina will request permission for us to visit Zhengya at the special needs orphanage. Torez is rural and about an hour drive from Gorlovka.
The best way to describe the ride to Torez was very, very bumpy. So bumpy in fact that it was difficult to keep my eyes open at all. I think I can finally truly relate to how the babies feel when we pat their little bottoms to get them to fall asleep!
We first stopped at the Guardianship Council’s office in Ukraine to request permission to visit Zhengya (Christopher). A social worker from this office must accompany us on the first visit to observe our interaction with him and determine if he desires to be adopted. This is the "law", but our case is also unique in that Zhengya cannot speak his desires. Angelina said that this is something she will fight. I asked her if the social worker can accept another form of expression to determine a "connection". "We will see", Angelina, responds. I am not concerned because I know that if we are really suppose to bring this little boy home, then it will happen by Divine intervention.
We arrived at the orphanage and it was like the hundreds of other buildings along the way in poor repair. An anonymous donor renovated the wing of the orphanage that the bed ridden children are confined to. It was quite nice, bright, fresh and clean in contrast to the rest of the building which was dark and dismal and smelled of diesel fuel.
All eyes were on us as we approached the room of our future son. All of the fragile little children tucked in their beds, the place they will likely spend their remaining days and nights, unless more family’s with willing hearts are beckoned soon. All of the children looked well attended despite the lack of therapy, education and other activities that every child needs to thrive and grow. These children are not considered worthy of an education due to their physical or mental differences. One has to detach emotionally in order to be present in this room and not diminish into a pile of mush. I was on a mission to prove that this child had value beyond his seemingly limited capabilities. I knew if I was going to connect with Zhengya I must reveal the truth of my soul to him in our first meeting. It seemed easy and natural to close out the rest of the physical world around us. A world of curiosity and possibly riddled with doubt at the mere suggestion of such an action.
All eyes were on us as we approached the room of our future son. All of the fragile little children tucked in their beds, the place they will likely spend their remaining days and nights, unless more family’s with willing hearts are beckoned soon. All of the children looked well attended despite the lack of therapy, education and other activities that every child needs to thrive and grow. These children are not considered worthy of an education due to their physical or mental differences. One has to detach emotionally in order to be present in this room and not diminish into a pile of mush. I was on a mission to prove that this child had value beyond his seemingly limited capabilities. I knew if I was going to connect with Zhengya I must reveal the truth of my soul to him in our first meeting. It seemed easy and natural to close out the rest of the physical world around us. A world of curiosity and possibly riddled with doubt at the mere suggestion of such an action.
We were all required to put on a white lab coat for "sanitary purposes". I hope the children’s experiences with the white lab coats are for the most part, positive and not associated with negative experiences.
There he was in the very first bed, front and left. The covers pulled up to his face. He was barely peeking out. We pulled back the covers a bit. I took his hand and stroked the top of it and then studied the palm of his hand and fingers with a tracing motion to discover its softness and tone. Zhengya looked my way as I called his name and repeated it. He paused for a moment and listened. Then I called his name again and he responded with delight in his smile and attempted to make a sound. I asked if he could sit with assistance and a care giver motioned and replied that he can sit up by himself, but she came over to encourage him and pulled him forward. He is so tiny and frail, yet his responsiveness gives me hope for a brighter future.
Papa joined me on the other side of Zhengya and we took out bubbles and a ball and attempted to gain more reactions. Although, Z. Was responding positively even showing delight and visible excitement at times, he would still have moments of disengaging. It is difficult at this point to know if this is because he is overwhelmed or it is an aspect of the cerebral palsy that we are unaware of. Regardless, he is in there, alive and listening.
I brought a bottle of bubbles with us and began my way around the room making sure I did not miss anyone (although it turns out I completely missed a row of children in cribs, too tiny for toddler beds, along the wall of windows. I will make sure I visit with them next time) The children were calling out and giggles filled the room. One little boy, Maxim, asked in English, "What is your name? My name is Maxim" "I have Speena Beefeeda". He smiled so brightly! He is brilliant!! I’m sure if I was fluent in Russian, we would have a wonderful conversation. Maxim is just four years old, but already very wise. His little trunk and legs so twisted underneath him and his intestines bulging visibly barely beneath the skin. Yet, the joy that is filling this little boy’s soul, spills out over this sorrowful surroundings.
I have become aware that more people have entered the room. In fact, although I barely glance towards the entrance, I notice that several more people have entered the room to observe our interaction with Zhengya and the other children as well. We are under extreme scrutiny, but I am not bothered. It is our perception that the care givers are doing their best with the very limited resources that they are equipped with. It was our impression that they truly love these children and give them their all.
I brought a bottle of bubbles with us and began my way around the room making sure I did not miss anyone (although it turns out I completely missed a row of children in cribs, too tiny for toddler beds, along the wall of windows. I will make sure I visit with them next time) The children were calling out and giggles filled the room. One little boy, Maxim, asked in English, "What is your name? My name is Maxim" "I have Speena Beefeeda". He smiled so brightly! He is brilliant!! I’m sure if I was fluent in Russian, we would have a wonderful conversation. Maxim is just four years old, but already very wise. His little trunk and legs so twisted underneath him and his intestines bulging visibly barely beneath the skin. Yet, the joy that is filling this little boy’s soul, spills out over this sorrowful surroundings.
I have become aware that more people have entered the room. In fact, although I barely glance towards the entrance, I notice that several more people have entered the room to observe our interaction with Zhengya and the other children as well. We are under extreme scrutiny, but I am not bothered. It is our perception that the care givers are doing their best with the very limited resources that they are equipped with. It was our impression that they truly love these children and give them their all.
Our day at Torez, was emotionally draining and we did not speak much on our way back to Gorlovka. I was still recovering from jet lag and feeling motion sickness this time instead of sleepy. As soon as we reached the apartment and I could get out and breath some fresh air, I was fine. Angelina dropped us at the Market and we picked up some groceries to get us through the next few days while we learn the route and can walk here, as it is just a few blocks from the apartment. We came back, ate a bit and shared a delicious, homemade desert. Then we fell fast asleep and both had a restful night.
It is Friday, October 26th and we are once again headed to the Guardianship Council, but this time in the city of Gorlovka. We will ask for permission now to visit Artyom and Volodymyr. When we arrived at the office of the Deputy, she asks that Mark and I come to speak with her. She wishes to interview us. Angelina tells me she has known her for many years and she is nice but can be a tough lady. She smiles often and is concerned for the welfare of the children whom she is responsible for (all of the orphans in Gorlovka). She poses us questions about our parenting style, choice of discipline and how we implement the same. She asks if we have any photos of our home and family and we share our album with her. She appears content with our responses and gives us favor with our request to visit with the children. She tells us that she knows V.’s Babushka well and that she hopes that he will find a family to love and care for him. She feels this will make V’s Babushka very happy and also states that she is the only one in the family that cares for the welfare of the child.
Angelina has also decided along with Helen, the Director of Gorlovka Hope, not to mention that we hosted Artyom as Hosting programs are not really looked upon as an avenue that should facilitate the adoption of a child. We do not want to make waves, so we are in agreement. We know General Angelina knows the system best! So given this fact, Artyom will be prepped to act as though he is meeting us for the first time. It makes me angry that a child is being asked to participate in the bureaucratic games that are so prevalent here. If we are to bring him home however, it is obvious, we must too be part of the game on this level.
Angelina has also decided along with Helen, the Director of Gorlovka Hope, not to mention that we hosted Artyom as Hosting programs are not really looked upon as an avenue that should facilitate the adoption of a child. We do not want to make waves, so we are in agreement. We know General Angelina knows the system best! So given this fact, Artyom will be prepped to act as though he is meeting us for the first time. It makes me angry that a child is being asked to participate in the bureaucratic games that are so prevalent here. If we are to bring him home however, it is obvious, we must too be part of the game on this level.
Artyom was chosen to attend an exclusive camp in the Crimea, an island off the Black Sea. Children from all over the world attend this camp and it is very "expensive". Each year orphans from Gorlovka and other regions are chosen to go and this was Artyom’s chance. The camp was for 30 days. The children have many fun activities, eat well and whatever and how much they like and also maintain their studies so as not to fall behind. Artyom just arrived back on Thursday evening so he was still adjusting to coming back to the very humble life at the orphanage. He had also made new friends at the Crimea camp and was missing them. When his care giver brought him into Helen’s office he was visibly nervous. (Poor kid was not sure how to act , I’m sure) Mark and I had to be good actors too and it was really difficult not to hug him right away. He was very quiet and then when we offered to show him the photo album of our family he smiled and said, Dah (yes). It was very cute when I was naming his future sisters and brothers he for a moment forgot his part and when I pointed to Charlie, Artyom identified him before I could say a word. I do not think anyone noticed, but I had to snicker. The social worker Laresa, seemed pleased with our "contact meeting" and it was time for her to leave. She was out the door for not 5 seconds and Helen exclaimed. "Now you can do what ever you wish, hug, kiss..." We enjoyed catching up with Artyom, but knew he was overwhelmed. He had just been told we were there for him just 15 minutes before our arrival. Angelina told us of a nice café right outside of the security gate to the orphanage entrance. We enjoyed french fries (nothing like ours, more like roasted potatoes and without the grease). Ukrainian Beer and a steak for Mark and
"ma-rozhg -na" (ice-cream) for Artyom. Mark said the steak is more the texture of lamb, not beef, but very good.
"ma-rozhg -na" (ice-cream) for Artyom. Mark said the steak is more the texture of lamb, not beef, but very good.
If you read our Adoption Blog, I think I mentioned that Helen asked me if I knew any Russian. I told her I had been studying for a few months but only knew a few phrases well. I asked Artyom Kak dze la? (How is it going?) And said, Ya ha-choo ka-tosh-ku (I want potato), trying to lighten things up and speaking a bit of mom and son code, since we had allowed the "forbidden" frying of potatoes in our home. When we returned from the market later that afternoon, we discovered a mystery guest had been to our apartment and left us with a little gift in the refrigerator, 4 potatoes!!
We did not visit V. Today because we had to wait for the permission from SDA to be faxed to the Guardianship Council. So we will come back on Monday and repeat the process with Laresa again but he will not have to pretend it is his first time meeting us, nor will we! Yay !!
We brought lots of DVD’s with us upon the recommendation of experienced adoptive families who have been to Ukraine and Russia. You will miss hearing English after you are immersed in a language that EVERYONE speaks, EXCEPT YOU. We watched the film Flywheel tonight and gave it 2 thumbs up. I really like this guy I married and enjoy spending time with him. He is so smart and a great Dad too. I definitely am going to make sure I remind him more often how much I appreciate him. Boy, would I be in big trouble if I were here alone and so would he. Mark covers all of the mechanical necessities , such as converters, adapters, not blowing up any appliances, lighting the stove (I would build a campfire before messing with the propane) and is our human GPS. I get us a long way with my little nit of Russian that I have been studying the past 2 ½ months. And of course, I do the cooking after the stove is lit, just like back home.
Saturday, October 27th
We brought lots of DVD’s with us upon the recommendation of experienced adoptive families who have been to Ukraine and Russia. You will miss hearing English after you are immersed in a language that EVERYONE speaks, EXCEPT YOU. We watched the film Flywheel tonight and gave it 2 thumbs up. I really like this guy I married and enjoy spending time with him. He is so smart and a great Dad too. I definitely am going to make sure I remind him more often how much I appreciate him. Boy, would I be in big trouble if I were here alone and so would he. Mark covers all of the mechanical necessities , such as converters, adapters, not blowing up any appliances, lighting the stove (I would build a campfire before messing with the propane) and is our human GPS. I get us a long way with my little nit of Russian that I have been studying the past 2 ½ months. And of course, I do the cooking after the stove is lit, just like back home.
Saturday, October 27th
Today we will not go to the orphanage. We are just going to rest and find our way to the Internet Café and Market. Angelina drew us a map last night and I am confident in Mark’s ability to trace our steps and get us home. I was quite sad and homesick today. It is cloudy and a dreary day which isn’t helping my mood. Our great plans to use Skype and have free voice over International calls to speak with Charlie and Nick has failed us, as since we left Kyiv , we no longer have the luxury of High Speed Internet. This is required to utilize the Skype service. Angelina has told us though that if we give our Ukrainian cell phone numbers to family at home in the States, they can call us at a better rate (using other call plans) and it will not effect our minutes. In other words, it is not like our cells phones in the US which use up minutes for both sides of the call. So we were able to quickly phone Auntie Ann with the few minutes we had left on our cell phone and give her our phone numbers. She called us right back and we talked for a good while. Charlie and Nick are doing well and their Godparents are keeping them very occupied with activities. They are having a wonderful time with the Veverka crew. My spirits were lifted at once when I was able to connect with home and my "babies".
Here is our numbers, for anyone who wants to make phone contact. We are 7 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time . From the U.S. dial:
Theresa: 011 380 677 837 488
Mark: 011 380 677 837 446
Theresa: 011 380 677 837 488
Mark: 011 380 677 837 446
We made our way to the I-café and market. I even was able to help read the map, a newly acquired talent based on survival! I am amazed at Mark’s tracking abilities, I would not want to imagine where we would end up if I had to get us back to the apartment myself. We have a few new favorite indulgences, or shall we say , "comfort foods"? Mark’s are Ukranian Beer (Is that a food?) and Ukranian chocolate. Although, the chocolate part is not a "new" favorite. Mine is also Ukranian chocolate, especially with caramel, OMG! , roasted potatoes, UA style and Danon yogurt. The yogurt here does not even come close to ours at home. Since milk products are different as a whole, there is none of this non-fat and light means something different, not sugar -free. I could get use to this real fast. Mark said the milk is maybe goat’s milk and not cow’s milk. But whatever is the case the yogurt is the bomb!! Maybe we will adopt a herd of goats too!!
We turned in around 10:00 I think and had a wonderful sleep. It is always a comfort to know your children are well and I’m sure this helped for certain.
The four-legged, furry children, Chloe and Georgie were another story. Although they have been well cared for this first week, Georgie and Chloe caused much mischief at the Mentesana’s who so graciously offered to keep them in our absence. Georgie, our male beagle, decided he was going to try to antagonize George, their female pug. Then, Chloe and Georgie dug themselves a trench under the fence (an act I confidently guaranteed had never taken place in our yard) and attempted an escape to the Ukraine or possibly Schroon Lake to find their lost humans. Embarrassed their faithful human mama, they have. Fortunately, a kind and observant neighbor returned them to the Mentesana home. Sadly, for them, they will probably not be spared the natural consequences of their shenanigans and will have to spend the remaining time boarded at the vets with many restrictions guess we could not have titled our Blog, Wollschlager Adoption Adventure had everything gone without a hitch.
Sunday, October 28th
Today we are meeting Olga. Olga is Angelina’s assistant and our translator for the day. Our taxi arrived with Olga at 1:00. We either walk , take a taxi, or personal driver for longer trips. Taxi’s and drivers are very reasonable. If we can figure our the bus system, that is probably even cheaper. With gas prices as they are in the U.S. I could also get use to this part. Artyom was clearly more comfortable and rested from his time at camp. He now wore that naturally infectious smile we were familiar with. We again went for his favorite desert. Marozhgna and roasted french potatoes for mama and papa. Artyom does not like chocolate, but fruit, on his ice-cream. We talked about signing him up for Soccer in the Spring as Fall ball will have ended or almost ended when we return home. He asked who else will play with him on the team, searching to see if his brother Charlie would also play in the Spring. We told him that Charlie loves to play baseball in the Spring but that he would play soccer (football) in the Fall. Artyom stated that he would then only wish to play in the Fall. We talked a bit more about activities at home with Olga’s assistance and then hugged goodbye until tomorrow.
Today we are meeting Olga. Olga is Angelina’s assistant and our translator for the day. Our taxi arrived with Olga at 1:00. We either walk , take a taxi, or personal driver for longer trips. Taxi’s and drivers are very reasonable. If we can figure our the bus system, that is probably even cheaper. With gas prices as they are in the U.S. I could also get use to this part. Artyom was clearly more comfortable and rested from his time at camp. He now wore that naturally infectious smile we were familiar with. We again went for his favorite desert. Marozhgna and roasted french potatoes for mama and papa. Artyom does not like chocolate, but fruit, on his ice-cream. We talked about signing him up for Soccer in the Spring as Fall ball will have ended or almost ended when we return home. He asked who else will play with him on the team, searching to see if his brother Charlie would also play in the Spring. We told him that Charlie loves to play baseball in the Spring but that he would play soccer (football) in the Fall. Artyom stated that he would then only wish to play in the Fall. We talked a bit more about activities at home with Olga’s assistance and then hugged goodbye until tomorrow.
Date night at Sudeyko Street, Apt no. 4.. No popcorn here in Gorlovka to go with our film for the night, One Night With the King. We are substituting coffee, tea and cookies. I highly recommend this movie. This is actually my second time seeing it. It is the story of Esther of Suza and King Ahasuerus of the Old Testament. I think I could watch it again soon. A favorite for sure. We also worked a puzzle book together. I had picked it up at JFK thinking it was a crossword book, come to discover, it is a fill - in - the words or numbers book. It is easy, fun and not very taxing on our brains at the end of the day.
The Name Game
Tonight we also made a list of names for Artyom and Volodymyr to choose from for their new first names that will be on their American birth certificates. Their present first names will remain as their middle names since there are no middle names given here and we want them to keep their heritage. Charlie had already chosen Christopher for Eugene’s (Zhengya) first name. If they prefer to continue to be called by their Ukraine names , we will do this.
Here is the list: (Helen suggested that if the boys cannot make up their minds, that we choose for them, I am not so sure about that)
The Name Game
Tonight we also made a list of names for Artyom and Volodymyr to choose from for their new first names that will be on their American birth certificates. Their present first names will remain as their middle names since there are no middle names given here and we want them to keep their heritage. Charlie had already chosen Christopher for Eugene’s (Zhengya) first name. If they prefer to continue to be called by their Ukraine names , we will do this.
Here is the list: (Helen suggested that if the boys cannot make up their minds, that we choose for them, I am not so sure about that)
Side Note: Ironically, the first Cathedral we visited before we saw the available boys for adoption was Saint Volodymyr’s. We lit three candles representing our future children and prayed for wisdom and guidance with the revelation of the third child. I kept forgetting V.’s name until Olga told me on Sunday. Then as I was searching for this name list and thinking it was in my Bible, I came across a prayer card I had been given more then 2 years ago.I had not been aware of the specific image of Mary that it was until this moment, or at least I had not recalled it since our arrival in Ukraine. It was an Icon of Our Lady of Vladimir (The Russian spelling of Volodymyr), Virgin of Tenderness. The image was also together with the memorial card of my dear and longtime friend Ellena Storti , who received her heavenly reward of eternal life on October 24th 2002. Ellena was a devote Christian. A Catholic woman in love with Christ and devoted also to Mary. Another irony, our family’s new patron Saint, Ellena’s anniversary of death on earth, October 24th, was the date of our SDA appointment.
Andrew- We have actually started to refer to Volodymyr as "Andy" between the two of us, because we both think he looks like an "Andy" so we are kind of hoping he chooses Andrew, but we will have to change our ways if he likes one of our other choices.
Thomas
Michael
Joseph
Joel
Luke
Jack
Alexander/Alex
Samuel/Sam
Matthew/Matt
Timothy
Benjamin/Ben
Monday, October 29th
Today we are going to the Notary’s office to sign the applications/petitions to adopt the children. One copy will be sent to the SDA and the other to the Guardianship Council. Once received, a judge is assigned to our cases and a court date set. We are praying it will be this week and Angelina is also requesting that the hearing for all 3 boys take place in Gorlovka even though Christopher is in Torez.
The notary takes about 45 minutes. Angelina tells me that notary’s are paid a very large salary and are very expensive. It’s a good thing our notaries are "public servants" and charge very little or nothing to witness a document. I guess whatever was not costly in the first part of the process, we will make up for here.
Andrew- We have actually started to refer to Volodymyr as "Andy" between the two of us, because we both think he looks like an "Andy" so we are kind of hoping he chooses Andrew, but we will have to change our ways if he likes one of our other choices.
Thomas
Michael
Joseph
Joel
Luke
Jack
Alexander/Alex
Samuel/Sam
Matthew/Matt
Timothy
Benjamin/Ben
Monday, October 29th
Today we are going to the Notary’s office to sign the applications/petitions to adopt the children. One copy will be sent to the SDA and the other to the Guardianship Council. Once received, a judge is assigned to our cases and a court date set. We are praying it will be this week and Angelina is also requesting that the hearing for all 3 boys take place in Gorlovka even though Christopher is in Torez.
The notary takes about 45 minutes. Angelina tells me that notary’s are paid a very large salary and are very expensive. It’s a good thing our notaries are "public servants" and charge very little or nothing to witness a document. I guess whatever was not costly in the first part of the process, we will make up for here.
We headed off with Olga to Gorlovka Hope to meet V., "Andy" for the first time. When we arrived Artyom and V. Were not there and the nurse had taken them to the hospital for a medical exam. Olga said their was evidently a break in communications because they had called the day before, reminding them of our visit. Helen was out of the office, so no one had mentioned we were coming again. The social worker, Laresa had already been there waiting for some time. So Olga went to the hospital to bring V to meet with us.
V.’s caretaker held him close with her arms gently wrapped around him. She began to describe V’s personality and interests. She said he was very diligent with his school work and completing the 3rd grade, but that really he could accomplish more and a "higher level" if he applied himself. She also described him as "full of energy" and "lively". She told us V. had his own opinion about things and how they should go, he will express himself appropriately and even if he is angry he is not aggressive and that he is also very fair and if he sees another child treated unjustly, he will intervene and make things right. All things, his new mama and papa like to hear of course. Given all of these reports, we are still prepared as much as possible for a transition period of unknown length when we return home. We are aware that a culture shock and new dynamics for our family both of origin and adoption will take place and we believe if we continue to seek God’s grace and wisdom, He will lead us to the assistance and resources that will help our family thrive and grow. I am so grateful for the many families who have adopted before us that have been so gracious this past 19 months in sharing their personal experiences with us. I will continue to accept your kind invitations to call on you for additional guidance as we return home with our new sons.
V.’s caretaker held him close with her arms gently wrapped around him. She began to describe V’s personality and interests. She said he was very diligent with his school work and completing the 3rd grade, but that really he could accomplish more and a "higher level" if he applied himself. She also described him as "full of energy" and "lively". She told us V. had his own opinion about things and how they should go, he will express himself appropriately and even if he is angry he is not aggressive and that he is also very fair and if he sees another child treated unjustly, he will intervene and make things right. All things, his new mama and papa like to hear of course. Given all of these reports, we are still prepared as much as possible for a transition period of unknown length when we return home. We are aware that a culture shock and new dynamics for our family both of origin and adoption will take place and we believe if we continue to seek God’s grace and wisdom, He will lead us to the assistance and resources that will help our family thrive and grow. I am so grateful for the many families who have adopted before us that have been so gracious this past 19 months in sharing their personal experiences with us. I will continue to accept your kind invitations to call on you for additional guidance as we return home with our new sons.
After our meeting, the Larisa, the social worker from the Guardianship Committee left and so did Olga, our translator. We were taken to a visiting room with a sofa, table and 2 chairs to have some time to interact with V. I brought out the magnetic Chess board for V. And Papa to play. Mark said that V. Played chess aggressively just as Artyom does. I brought Chutes and Ladders which is my level of board game- Haha! In fact I beat the little guy 3 times in row, no mercy! Hey, he told me Mathematics is his favorite and best subject, I have to show who is in charge around here, I cannot show any weakness in this area (Smile).
Artyom returned from the doctor’s office and joined us. He played a game of Chess with dad. Mark said Artyom still played just as aggressively while watching V and I at our game. He whipped Papa again! We headed to our new favorite café and met with Helen outside on our way there. We asked if she would come order for us as I cannot read Cyrillic yet and even if I could I would have to know what the word meant. We also invited Artyom’s "best friend" Sergey to come with us. We had a nice time and the food was again delicious. The manager is starting to smile at us even more, I am sure we are becoming some of his best regulars. We are going to tell him that we will recommend his fine café to many Americans when they come to Gorlovka.
When we left the café the boys still had half bottle of Coke left to take back to the orphanage. I am sure it is not something they have often (They will do well with this at home, since mama is the food police and soda is a treat at home too) I wish to make this point to Charlie of how privilege he really is. When we go out to eat at home, I have to be on the server to stop re-filling my kid’s glass with coke. Forget about saving any for the meal, the first glass is sucked down like there’s no tomorrow!
Artyom returned from the doctor’s office and joined us. He played a game of Chess with dad. Mark said Artyom still played just as aggressively while watching V and I at our game. He whipped Papa again! We headed to our new favorite café and met with Helen outside on our way there. We asked if she would come order for us as I cannot read Cyrillic yet and even if I could I would have to know what the word meant. We also invited Artyom’s "best friend" Sergey to come with us. We had a nice time and the food was again delicious. The manager is starting to smile at us even more, I am sure we are becoming some of his best regulars. We are going to tell him that we will recommend his fine café to many Americans when they come to Gorlovka.
When we left the café the boys still had half bottle of Coke left to take back to the orphanage. I am sure it is not something they have often (They will do well with this at home, since mama is the food police and soda is a treat at home too) I wish to make this point to Charlie of how privilege he really is. When we go out to eat at home, I have to be on the server to stop re-filling my kid’s glass with coke. Forget about saving any for the meal, the first glass is sucked down like there’s no tomorrow!
As we walked back to the orphanage, I noticed V was turning the coke bottle upside down and shaking it inside of his jacket. I had to laugh, knowing what he was planning to do when he returned to his friends. I whispered to Mark my observation and thought about Charlie and that he does this often. "Boys will be boys", I thought. Mark mentioned the Coke shaking to Helen with a smile in anticipation of the sticky mess it might make. She laughed too and I was glad to see she has a great sense of humor and understands children. She mentioned it too V and he grinned sheepishly and denied that he was going open the bottle of fizz. It’s the quiet ones, yup!
We hugged the little guys and Helen called a taxi to take us to the Internet Café to check our e-mails. We will walk home from there as it is only about a 15-20 minute walk.
When we left the I-café and made our way back to our cozy abode, we made new notes of the landmarks along the way. There are two stone statues on the corner of which we turn, just a few blocks from the apartment. They do not have detailed features or limbs, but one has a head and one does not, and is cut off at the neck. We now have affectionately named them Cyril and Methodiios.
We hugged the little guys and Helen called a taxi to take us to the Internet Café to check our e-mails. We will walk home from there as it is only about a 15-20 minute walk.
When we left the I-café and made our way back to our cozy abode, we made new notes of the landmarks along the way. There are two stone statues on the corner of which we turn, just a few blocks from the apartment. They do not have detailed features or limbs, but one has a head and one does not, and is cut off at the neck. We now have affectionately named them Cyril and Methodiios.
I have to note to the families that are also new to International Adoption , that in my personal opinion, I have concluded that the countries which mandate both parents to travel to the country of interest are very wise in doing so. There may be other things that I am not so sure I agree with, but this one I do. The only exception might be if you have already had experience being totally immersed in a culture that does not speak your language and have all of the creature comforts you are accustomed to. This is the only way you are going to come close to comprehending what your new child/ren are experiencing when they come home with you. Despite what one might imagine, they are not going to Disneyland when they leave the orphanage and find their "forever family".
There is so much to process emotionally, psychologically and spiritually that I find taking advantage of our down time to just be quiet and think or journal by myself is very helpful. Mark does the same while he works the crossword puzzle or reads. When I see him conversing with another person, with hands waving in the air like he was birthed in Rome, but no one else is present.... I look the other way. Don’t you worry either, he is "just processing" too.
There is so much to process emotionally, psychologically and spiritually that I find taking advantage of our down time to just be quiet and think or journal by myself is very helpful. Mark does the same while he works the crossword puzzle or reads. When I see him conversing with another person, with hands waving in the air like he was birthed in Rome, but no one else is present.... I look the other way. Don’t you worry either, he is "just processing" too.
When I have my quiet moments though, I also begin to miss Ashleigh, Neena, Charlie and Nick so very much. This is by far the hardest part of the journey for me. I am so blessed by my children that I think that is why when God asked me to take on the parenting of His orphans, I could not deny Him. Being a mother has been one of the greatest privileges and challenges of my life. It beckons me to reflect on who I was created to be and my Divine purpose and significance as the daughter of my Lord. I am at my best when I have a cause to work for. This is true joy for me. An existence that helps me overcome the sometimes extreme ugliness of our fallen nature and world. This is what it means to give a name to my soul. A name that I have chosen to describe what it is to serve my God completely and without reservations, it is, "Serenity".
Yesterday, I had a proud moment in the life of a mom. Ashleigh and Neena are incredible young women in their own right. Young adults that I would be amazed by even if I had not birthed them (I can only imagine, since I know I have a natural bias, but I do believe so) When our beagles Chloe and Georgie decided to create a ruckus and see if anyone would notice, the girls took charge of the situation, to ease my concerns while I am obviously not in a position to manage the hounds. Despite both of their grueling schedules, first year Law School and first year Dental School, they each took responsibility for one Beagle so the beloved family pets would not have to be crated and boarded at the vet. This is a big deal in my eyes and I am moved to tears by their selfless decisions.
Until tomorrow,
The mama
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